What to do, what to do…

I am so bad with decisions…like reeeeeeally bad. You might think you’re bad with decisions…until you meet me. I mean, I’m the kid that has a hard time deciding what to eat at Chick Fil A when the choice is chicken or chicken. Considering I stress out about that, you can imagine my stress when making bigger decisions. I’ve been praying specifically for discernment and clarity for a couple of months now. In the past couple weeks, I’ve come up with at least three really GREAT plans. Let me tell you, these plans ROCK! But there’s a problem: I came up with them…at least, I’m satisfied with them for my own selfish reasons. That’s the problem with these great plans, they’re mine (cue John Piper talk from Passion). The plan that the Lord has for me is probably approximately 9304803439583 x 10^29350893025…times infinity times better than anything I can imagine. Maybe some of these plans I’ve come up line up with God’s…maybe they don’t.

(Side note: one of these plans is to just pick up and go like Abram and not have any clue where I’m going. I think my mom would just LOVE this plan.)

It’s no coincidence that this week I’ve started Proverbs in my Bible reading plan (although, I am quite behind–I’m working on it!!). I love all of these passages about wisdom and how important it is (let’s take a minute to recognize that, in the Bible, wisdom is personified as a woman). I really like the first part of chapter 1:

To know wisdom and instruction,
to understand words of insight,
to receive instruction in wise dealing,
in righteousness, justice, and equity;
to give prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the youth—
Let the wise hear and increase in learning,
and the one who understands obtain guidance,
to understand a proverb and a saying,
the words of the wise and their riddles.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
fools despise wisdom and instruction.

-Proverbs 1:2-7 (ESV)

I just love that, especially since it resonates with what’s been on my heart lately. I guess a positive is that, as verse 7 implies, at least I’m not a fool!  Recently in my Bible reading plan I also read two accounts of Solomon’s prayer for wisdom (1 Kings 3 and 2 Chronicles 1–I’m reading the Word chronologically, by the way). If you’ve never read this prayer and the Lord’s reply, do it! Solomon could ask for anything, but what does he want? Wisdom. What does the Lord give him? Wisdom (and so much more):

It pleased the Lord that Solomon had asked this. And God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right, behold, I now do according to your word. Behold, I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you. I give you also what you have not asked, both riches and honor, so that no other king shall compare with you, all your days. And if you will walk in my ways, keeping my statutes and my commandments, as your father David walked, then I will lengthen your days.”

-1 Kings 3:10-14 (ESV)

And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding beyond measure,and breadth of mind like the sand on the seashore, so that Solomon’s wisdom surpassed the wisdom of all the people of the east and all the wisdom of Egypt.

-1 Kings 4:29-30 (ESV)

I don’t know about you, but I sure would like wisdom like that…even a little bit of it!  I don’t know why, but I’ve never really thought about praying for wisdom. Sure I’ll pray for discernment and clarity but wisdom? That’s not for me…I could never be wise.  I guess I’ve always just thought that I could never have the wise “title.” That’s such a silly thought, though.  Discernment and clarity are great, but they go hand-in-hand (in hand?) with wisdom.

I know this is so scattered and probably doesn’t make much sense, especially if you don’t really know my thought process behind all of this. I also know that approximately 2.73 people will read this and actually make it this far. For that 2.73, congratulations and thank you!…and I’m sorry for my random thought process.

For now, all I can do is to continue to pray, remembering James 1:5:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

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One thought on “What to do, what to do…

  1. Pingback: What I’ve been up to « Playing a Small Part in a Big Story

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